Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

Note: This review contains spoilers for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.

While the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ first foray into live action proved rather profitable, making $202 million worldwide (lifetime) on a budget of a mere $13.5 million, the wider franchise couldn’t replicate its success. As the 1990s continued, the initial wave of Turtlemania waned thanks to declining toy sales and 1987 cartoon viewership, on top of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (TMNT II) pulling in a lower box office performance ($78.7 million against a $25 million budget) than the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film (TMNT I). In an effort to squeeze more money out of the franchise while they still could, Golden Harvest would produce a third film, simply titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (TMNT III), released in 1993, that not only continued the trend of diminishing returns (earning $54.4 million against a $21 million budget), but earned a reputation for driving the franchise into relative dormancy until the 2003 cartoon aired. As someone who had just missed Turtlemania by virtue of being born too late for it, I had no real attachment to the turtles until later incarnations, which eventually led me to slowly exploring other parts of the franchise, including the live-action films. During my recent journey of watching the films in order, I ended up at TMNT III and finished with a complete understanding of why it couldn’t turn a profit.

One year after the events of TMNT II, April O’Neil (Paige Turco) brings gifts for Leonardo (performed by Mark Caso, voiced by Brian Tochi), Raphael (performed by Matt Hill, voiced by Tim Kelleher), Donatello (performed by Jim Raposa, voiced by Corey Feldman) and Michelangelo (performed by David Fraser, voiced by Robbie Rist) that she purchased at a flea market. She also bought a Japanese scepter, which she gives to Splinter (James Murray). While she’s holding the scepter, April is sent back in time and replaced with a prince named Kenshin (Henry Hayashi), who had gotten into a disagreement with his father, Lord Norinaga (Sab Shimono). Back in feudal Japan, April is imprisoned by an English trader, Walker (Stuart Wilson), after he decides that she is not a witch. In the present, Donatello calculates that the turtles only have 60 hours to save April before the scepter’s power disappears. After getting Casey Jones (Elias Koteas) to watch over Kenshin, the turtles go back in time, unintentionally swapping places with four of Norinaga’s honor guards, and get a bit more than they bargained for in their rescue mission.

Michelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo and Raphael prepare to save April.

The core premise on paper isn’t that bad, as a time travel story where the turtles go to feudal Japan has a lot of potential. It’s also not too farfetched, as there is precedent for the turtles to have connections with Japan, especially considering the characters Hamato Yoshi and Oroku Saki (with relation to Splinter and Shredder respectively). Even if the story didn’t involve Shredder, other characters could fill in the role of the antagonist, as in the final film. Unfortunately, whatever potential TMNT III had at the beginning gets squandered and buried underneath a sloppy execution.

The method for the turtles interacting with the time scepter, April bringing it back from thrifting, feels a bit too simple and convenient (as though the studio prioritized saving money for the pricey Japan scenes filmed on location in Oregon). Although the time travel logic is internally consistent, save for one oversight at the very end, the actual plot is pretty dull. No matter what goes on, it often feels like nothing really happens or, if it does, it occurs at a slow pace. There are some neat aspects, like Raphael bonding with Yoshi (Travis A. Moon) and Michelangelo getting along with Mitsu (Vivian Wu) to the point of wanting to stay behind, but they are few and far between. It doesn’t help that Walker, while well-acted, doesn’t have the same presence as Shredder and that there are fewer fight scenes, though they are longer and have 100% more weapon usage compared with TMNT II. One subplot, where Donatello tries creating a second scepter to go back to the future and avoid fighting Walker or Norinaga, also renders itself nearly pointless once the counterfeit is completed (we don’t even get to see an attempt at making it work).

With the present-day portions, so much nothing happens that they almost come off as filler (thanks again to the relative lack of budget). Yes, we witness Kenshin gradually crack under the pressure and Splinter does get some good screen time as his usual wise self. However, while it’s nice to see Casey Jones again, he doesn’t do much himself apart from babysitting the honor guards who were displaced through time. The only saving grace of these scenes is that the samurai very quickly falling in love with hockey and growing accustomed to modern life, including junk food and arcade games, was genuinely pretty funny. That’s more than you could say for the rest of the film, where the comparatively more juvenile humor often falls flat due to numerous “punch ups” that create an inconsistent tone.

Casey Jones (Elias Koteas) feels wasted in his role.

Even if the film has some merit, the most distracting element is the updated turtle costumes. All Effects Company replaces Jim Henson’s Creature Shop on this front and the final result looks startlingly cheap by comparison. The turtles have more of a “plastic” look to them and their facial expressions aren’t as nuanced as before. This leaves a lot more up to the suit actors, who are clearly doing their best despite the immersion-breaking costumes (I thought more this time about how the turtles are really actors wearing animatronic heads). While other effects can also look pretty poor, such as a shot of Leonardo clearly sliding into his shell to dodge an attack, the worst of them is Walker’s death scene. While he’s falling into the water below, he outright disappears from existence, followed by a splash sound, adding some unintentional humor to what was clearly meant as a dramatic finish.

It’s hard to recommend Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, especially to fans of the title characters. Unlike other Turtles films that are arguably worse on some level depending on your mood or attachment to any of the many incarnations of the franchise, TMNT III is the worst that a movie can be: mediocre.