Dungeons & Dragons (Film)

Note: This review contains spoilers for Dungeons & Dragons (Film) and Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

While modern audiences may be more familiar with the Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) tabletop game nowadays, including the recent Honor Among Thieves film, few may be aware that there was another D&D film, simply titled Dungeons & Dragons, released all the way back in 2000. The backstory behind the film is actually interesting, but the short version is that director Courtney Solomon obtained the film rights from TSR, the original D&D publisher, when he was 19. However, the film wouldn’t come to fruition for ten years, partly from most of Solomon’s ambitions, including securing big names like Francis Ford Coppola or James Cameron in the director’s chair, either rejected or toned down. As such, he had to direct it himself through his own production company, Sweetpea Entertainment, resulting in a critical and box office flop that didn’t even make back its $45 million budget. Having finally watched the film ourselves, born from curiosity after watching and enjoying Honor Among Thieves, we can personally confirm that this take on the property is best left in the dungeon where you found it.

Savina (Thora Birch), the young empress of Izmir, wishes to give rights to the common people, but is opposed by the Council of Mages, led by the evil Profion (Jeremy Irons). When they demand she hand over a scepter that lets her control gold dragons, she refuses, leading Profion to send his assistant Damodar (Bruce Payne) after the Rod of Savrille, which lets the wielder control red dragons. Meanwhile, Ridley (Justin Whalin) and Snails (Marlon Wayans), two teenage thieves who don’t like the treatment of commoners like them, try to rob the Sumdall magic school, but are caught by the apprentice Marina (Zoe McLellan). Just as the thieves are caught, Damodar attacks the library wizard for a map that will lead him to the Rod of Savrille. Marina, Ridley and Snails manage to escape and are joined by a dwarf named Elwood (Lee Arenberg) as they get caught up in the conflict over the Rod.

There’s a lot one could say about the story, but not much that’s very flattering. While frontloaded with some information, the film itself is easy to follow, at least at first, placing an emphasis on the story flow as opposed to taking the audience’s familiarity with the property for granted (an issue that would later affect Warcraft’s accessibility). After a certain point, however, the plot gets muddied enough with unexplained or contrived elements that I gave up on completely understanding it. It doesn’t help that it really drags in the second half, to the point that the climactic battle is something you may just want to get over with. I also didn’t know that a series of trap chambers could qualify as a maze, nor did I know that exploring a maze that an entire guild had apparently never solved on their own beforehand despite being in their own turf was a spectator sport.

It also doesn’t help that, unlike the party in Honor Among Thieves, this one is ragtag to a fault, even feeling borderline unlikable. Ridley and Snails don’t really have much of a backstory apart from their shared background as common thieves and, along with Marina and Elwood, just seem to fall into the main conflict accidentally as opposed to having any driving motivation. While I’m aware that not every story needs to have characters with a sympathetic past to justify their inclusion, it would still have helped if they had any real characterization beyond how we are first introduced to them. Elwood, for instance, doesn’t really go anywhere beyond his lack of manners of the social and table varieties and I can’t really say much of anything at all about Marina, as she’s not very memorable even as the group’s sorceress. Some conversations, especially ones initiated by Snails, are also oddly sexual in places in a way that only detracts from a scene rather than add to it.

This is not a party you can easily root for;
L-R: Ridley (Justin Whalin), Elwood (Lee Arenberg),
Snails (Marlon Wayans), Marina (Zoe McLellan)

That said, Snails’ death at the hands of Damodar is surprisingly brutal and one of the few times the viewer may feel any amount of sympathy for him. However, the ending of the film, which involved visiting his grave, is a bit too ambiguous for its own good, implying that he may be still alive but not confirming it one way or the other. Of course, the intended emotional reaction from the audience would only really work if there was an effort at getting the audience attached to him beyond his heroic sacrifice, which there wasn’t.

There’s also the feeling that apart from the presence of the titular dungeons and dragons, as well as a random inexplicable appearance from a Beholder, Dungeons & Dragons is more of a generic fantasy movie with D&D elements tacked on. Yes, the tabletop game did invent a lot of elements we would now consider “generic fantasy”, especially considering the lasting influence that the 1st Edition had on Japanese anime and manga, but the only way one could view it as a D&D film is if they thought of it like a poorly run campaign from first-timers. I also noticed that this film has some superficially similar story beats with Honor Among Thieves, those being a group of racially diverse thieves seeking a powerful item, a Paladin providing aid when they are most needed, and a party member’s death (possibly) being undone. It doesn’t really affect the enjoyment of either film one way or the other, but I find it interesting when two stories very different in quality share certain traits (like how The Super Mario Bros. Movie uses similar beats from Super Mario Bros.).

For all its faults, the writing may be the film’s strongest point, considering that it’s somehow worse visually. While some sets look decent based on their narrative significance, others look rather cheap. Of course, that’s the least of the film’s worries, as the special effects are horrendous, with CG that makes dragons look like a PS1 cutscene or other smaller creatures that don’t feel convincing at all. As such, the climactic fight with swarms of dragons in the background looks spectacularly awful and not the awe-inspiring set piece they had clearly intended. That’s not to mention the special effects meant to evoke the power of magic but instead give the impression Dungeons & Dragons was direct-to-video and not a theatrically-released feature. Speaking of magic, the battles that use it heavily are uninspired bouts of standing around and waving hands or shooting beams with no discernible system (at least compared with the actual tabletop game).

Of all the halfway decent practical effects, the only interesting one was Savrille’s talking skeleton. While it also may come off unintentionally hilarious for some, this also marked the only time that I wondered how they pulled something off considering the context. Other than that, the only other thing I could mention is that some costume choices are questionable, most infamously Damodar’s blue lips, which easily calls to mind a gag from the sitcom Friends.

Damodar's (Bruce Payne, right) blue lips are a questionable
decision; Also pictured: Profion (Jeremy Irons, left)

Then there’s the acting, with everyone coming off either very wooden or very hammy with little in-between, likely a result of poor direction. In particular, Jeremy Irons absolutely chews the scenery in every single one of his scenes, a disappointing approach considering his classically trained background and skill level, especially at the time (reportedly, he only took on the role so he could fund renovations on a castle he had then recently purchased). Sadly, Justin Whalen has no real presence as Ridley, lacking the same charisma that Chris Pine had as Edgin, a fellow human thief, in Honor Among Thieves. Although Marlon Wayans had a moment as Snails, the rest of his performance did arguably little to elevate his character, arguably incorporating stereotypes, which is odd considering he starred in the acclaimed Requiem for a Dream within the same year (then again, he also starred in the critically panned Scary Movie around the same time). One of the few decent roles is Tom Baker in his one scene as Halvarth the Elf, in which he clearly does the best he can with the material he’s given.

As for the film’s legacy, it would somehow spawn two standalone sequels, a 2005 TV movie subtitled Wrath of the Dragon God and a numbered direct-to-video movie subtitled The Book of Vile Darkness, both directed by Gerry Lively. Perhaps unsurprisingly, neither succeeded critically or financially.

While some weary travelers may get ironic entertainment out of this film, most are better off watching Honor Among Thieves instead. Where Honor Among Thieves made D&D look like a very fun game to play, and even made me consider trying it again, Dungeons & Dragons nearly killed that enthusiasm on the spot.