Pinocchio (2022 Disney)

In an effort to continue their wave of live-action remakes of animated films, Disney has been digging deeper into their catalog, this time going as far back as 1940’s Pinocchio, the studio’s second ever animated feature. Putting aside the odd timing of releasing within a sudden sea of Pinocchio adaptations in the year 2022, the film was released straight to Disney+ to negative reception. While I normally don’t have much interest in unnecessary remakes, this backdraft spurred me to watch this remake to see if it really was that bad, especially since I could watch it for free, after re-watching the original 1940 film for comparison. While the 1940 version remains a classic, the 2022 remake really is that bad.

Being a remake, the plot is similar to that of the 1940 original, but with some differences, for better or worse (mostly the latter). One change that comes more immediately is expanding Geppetto’s (Tom Hanks) backstory to explain why he builds Pinocchio (Benjamin Evan Ainsworth), which, while likely intended to make him more sympathetic, makes his endeavor to build a wooden boy comes off a bit weird. Jiminy (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) isn’t that much better off either, since his introduction is groan-inducing and his added narration throughout the movie doesn’t feel warranted. As a general note, some of the dialogue is also a bit too “hip” or “modern” for a story that takes place in the late 19^th century, such as a particularly groan-inducing forced reference to Chris Pine of all people, as well as one to the concept of influencers.

In trying to do its own thing, the movie also paradoxically tries to stick religiously to the story beats of the 1940 film, making some events feel rushed and awkward, with some altered scenes being rather predictable thanks in no small part to some very unsubtle foreshadowing. While Pinocchio’s relationship with “Honest” John (Keegan-Michael Key) is largely the same with some changes, he disappears a bit prematurely from the story after the Stromboli arc, making the transition to the Pleasure Island arc feel a bit abrupt. On the subject of Pleasure Island, while I understand modern sensibilities prevent showing the use of alcohol and tobacco by minors, especially in live-action, root beer and candy are not too effective as substitute vices and bring the donkey punishment a little into question. One more noticeable change is that Pinocchio is less naïve and has more obvious character development, which arguably misses the point of the original movie, and since he doesn’t actually participate that much in the Pleasure Island festivities outside of maybe indulging in some root beer, one has to wonder why he ended up partly transforming into a donkey, even if him becoming a wooden donkey instead is an interesting idea. The transition to the Monstro arc is also a bit less efficient than it was in the 1940 original, and when it does get there, the entire event feels rushed and un-earned.

Root beer is now a vice, apparently.
From left: Pinocchio (Benjamin Evan Ainsworth), Lampwick (Lewin Llyod)

Much like the original animated version, the remake has its own share of songs, comprised of a mixture of new performances of songs from the original as well as new songs made specifically for the retelling. While the new performances of old songs aren’t terrible, they’re simply not as good as the originals, not helped by the new version of “I’ve Got No Strings” having bad sound mixing, though the new version of “Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee (An Actor’s Life for Me)” comes the closest. The new songs aren’t terrible, but they’re not very memorable either, with one even requiring literally stopping the plot cold long enough to perform it.

While a good number of live-action/CGI films at least mix the two mediums well, the Pinocchio remake really misses the mark. Whereas the 1940 film gave Pinocchio himself just the right amount of weight in his animation to sell that he is a wooden puppet, the floaty CGI in the remake makes the title character come off as not having enough weight to make for a convincing effect, with one shot in the first act where he is held by Geppetto having some dodgy tracking resulting in some noticeable jitter. In trying to also stay faithful to the original film’s art style, while Pinocchio translates decently to live-action, the animal characters end up largely having an uncanny valley appearance, mainly Jiminy, Figaro and Cleo. The fact that the sun is far too bright in outdoor daytime shots certainly doesn’t do this any favors. Though “Honest” John came out better, with his more realistic redesign working in the remake’s favor, even he isn’t entirely immune, since his mouth movements don’t always quite line up with his dialogue. While I’m aware Monstro wasn’t exactly a whale in the original book, making him into a sea creature straight out of a trading card game is somehow less imposing than the 1940 version, which also ends up making a quick “whale oil” joke fall flat. On a more minor note, Geppetto's clocks have now been altered to include references to other Disney (and even Pixar!) films, which I found a bit too "cute," not to mention anachronistic.

The acting is actually pretty decent, though some did better than others. While Tom Hanks is a capable actor, both on-camera and in the booth, Geppetto is not one of his better performances and his inconsistent accent is a little distracting. I will admit to not being too familiar with Cynthia Erivo’s work, but I thought she was a decent choice for the Blue Fairy and wished she had more screen time, if only because the character’s removal from some critical scenes in the original made them feel lacking and go in strange directions. By far the best, however, is Keegan-Michael Key’s performance as “Honest” John, as he brings a lot of charisma and energy to the character while trying to make his material work, plus his comedy background comes through quite well in some of his dialogue.

Keegan-Michael Key brings a lot of much-needed charisma as "Honest" John.

Though the Pinocchio remake has a few interesting ideas and some good performances, they are not enough to save this mess of a remake, which ultimately falls short of what the original 1940 film was able to accomplish. If you have not seen Disney’s Pinocchio before and want to know why it’s so beloved, I would honestly tell you to skip this and watch the animated film instead.